Life on Trans-Siberian Rails

11:10pm - We arrived at Yaroslavsky train station in Moscow and walked with anticipation along the platform past the many carriages of our huge Trans-Siberian train. Contrary to popular belief, there is no such train called the Trans-Siberian Express. The term Trans-Siberian refers only to the series of routes that pass through Siberia connecting Russia, Mongolia and China. The train we were about to board was taking us to Irkutsk, the first leg of our Trans-Siberian trip. The journey takes approximately 77 hours (which translated means 3 days and 4 nights living in a small cabin on a train). Although not very enthusiastic about such confinement, I was excited about what we were going to see and looked forward to the next chapter of our big adventure.

In order to describe fully my accounts of life on this train, I have decided to divide the whole experience into subjects and write in detail about individual aspects of the trip...

THE TRAIN:

Our carriage had 10 cabins each sleeping 4 people and a toilet at either end of the corridor. These toilets are extremely basic and if I was lucky I'd occasionally get hot water. The tap, if you can call it that, dispensed water when the "stopper" was pushed upwards allowing the hot water to flow out. The problem with this is that it always required one hand to keep the "stopper" pushed upwards meaning that bathing or even washing hands was extremely difficult. The toilet has foot plates molded into the rim but I wouldn't dare use them - it was easier to squat keeping my feet safely on the floor while holding onto the hand rail (although this position was almost impossible during sharp turns and shaky sections on the track). The toilet was flushed by pushing the foot pedal which released the contents directly onto the tracks below, hence the reason why you can't access the toilet when the train is stationery or passing through a town. These random opening times and restricted access caused me a few problems. The most notable incident happened on the third night...

Me and Ali had been drinking a few beers and playing backgammon when I realised that I could no longer wait and made my way to the toilet (the game was at a crucial point and I was on the verge of winning so I couldn't just get up and leave). Surprise surprise both doors were locked. As the train was still moving I wondered why the attendant had locked them but it turns out that we were 20 minutes away from a large town and about to stop at a station. Once the train stopped I asked for directions to the nearest toilet in the station. I was kindly informed by the laughing attendant that there weren't any toilets at the station and that I had to wait. This stop was 1 hour 22 minutes long! I was at bursting point and looked around desperately for something, anything that would relieve me. The boy scout in me started to think of clever and inconspicuous ways of doing it. It was a simple process of elimination - I couldn't go outside because it was riddled with armed police and people selling all kinds of food to people on the train. I realised it would be too time consuming to make a key (not too dissimilar to the kind that drains radiators) to open the toilet door. Unfortunately the only choice I had was to walk in between the carriages, pull back the rubber surround just enough squeeze through and then relieve myself out onto the tracks facing away from the platform.

Depending on our attendants mood swings (which were permanently of the angry/depressed variety) we'd either be forced to listen to Russian disco music from the 80's or some strange opera like singer from the small (but loud) speakers in our cabin. Sometimes we would hear the occasional Russian cover version of a well-known Western song too. At the end of each carriage was a samovar. This popular spot was situated directly opposite the attendants cabin and dispensed hot water from the tank. This meant that we could make our own tea, coffee or pot noodles whenever we wanted. Our beds where actually quite comfy and come with clean sheets and a towel. I took the top bunk and Ali slept below with our room mate Natalie. Whenever we weren't sleeping we used the two bottom beds as seats and sat at the small table.

THE PEOPLE WE MET (in order of appearance):

Each carriage has it's own attendant that vacuums, cleans and opens the doors at every stop. Our Russian attendant wasn't a very happy woman and the train hadn't even departed Moscow before our relationship got off to a bad start. This wasn't a good situation considering the Russian trains, like most of the country, is corrupt and everyone who has done their Trans-Siberian research should know that your attendant has lots of power and if you treat her nicely, it will make your life on the train much more pleasant. All I did was ask a simple question "why is it so hot in here" (and believe me, it was an like an inferno. I was expecting the cast iron frame of the train to start melting any second) and to help communicate my discomfort I made some hand movements to indicate how hot I was. She waved her hand as if to say "be away with you, you peasant", said something unfriendly in Russian and started laughing with friends in her cabin. I didn't appreciate that at all so I called her a nasty name and walked away.

The nice thing about our carriage is that we only shared it with one other person - Natalie. She doesn't speak English but we managed to figure out that she is the mother of 2 and is a train manager of some sort. She was very respectable (compared to most of the occupants on the train) and I enjoyed her company.

Our neighbors were nothing really to write about so I wont.

We had met two nice Russian guys from Irkutsk called Anton and Anton (pronounced slightly different). They asked us to sit with them while in the restaurant car and subsequently got to know each other pretty well despite our language differences. Anton #1 had a slight advantage over his friend Anton #2 because he could speak a little English and translated most of what we said. Even though it was difficult to communicate, I still enjoyed their company and found it amazing how we could all communicate through had movements and drawings. There were times when neither of us really knew what we were talking about but it all made for an amusing night. We drank and ate their sunflower seeds in the restaurant car until we were thrown out and then retired to Anton #1's carriage for shots of Vodka and slices of orange (fruit is often used to cut the harsh after taste of Vodka - a common custom in Russia apparently) although the night quickly came to an end when 2 military officers knocked on the door. They spoke to Anton and Anton, looked at their passports then asked them to leave the cabin. They disappeared for a short while until #1 returned and told us we had to go back to our cabin and gave us no real explanation of what just happened. He said "sometime this thing just happens".

During our time spent with the Anton's in the restaurant we briefly met Anna and Delphi, two very nice ladies from England. Unfortunately we didn't get much time to exchange travel stories but it was refreshing to meet someone who spoke our language.

THE STOPS:

Every now and then the train would stop at small remote stations for varying lengths of time depending on the purpose of the stop. The duration of the stop was indicated in Ali's handbook (which she bought prior to our trip) so we could figure out if it was a long enough stop to get off and stretch our legs. At almost every station we stopped at there was the opportunity to buy food from the locals who eagerly awaited the arrival of the train in hope of earning a little extra cash. The food available varied from stop to stop but generally included items like noodles, tea, bready things, coke, beer and all sorts of other unidentifiable Russian snack foods and treats. We even tried smoked fish at one point as we neared lake Baikal - I wasn't too keen but Ali seemed to enjoy the challenge of removing the one hundred and something bones inside.

At some stops we were able to run to the front of the train for a photo and to wave hello to the driver. Ali's handbook was a great resource for us as it had detailed descriptions of each and every stop so that we could learn about the small towns and villages that we pass through on the way as well as a kilometer tracker so that we could figure out how many miles we had traveled.

THE VIEWS:

Obviously some parts of the trip offered more dramatic scenery than others but for the most part it was bleak landscapes with the occasional dense forest passing by every now and then. The amount of snow we saw also varied greatly. Unfortunately, my romantic dreams of hanging out the window as the train winds through snow capped trees in forests were far from accurate as the windows were locked tightly shut. Probably in order to maintain the 180 degree heat that was cooking everyone alive - one of the reasons why I enjoyed regular trips to surf the plates between the train carriages where it was much cooler.

THE RESTAURANT CAR:

Because the menu wasn't available in English I rarely purchased food from the restaurant car but it was a great place to sit and write or drink weak Russian beer and definitely a welcomed change of scenery. Most of the food we ate was from the supermarket in Moscow although I did once try the soup which was nice but I still can't figure out what it was. I watched the same awful Russian movie twice but was entertained by the bad acting and special effects.